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The Human Beard-o Project, Directors Shave
NEW comments!
Due to some parts of the project being secret the entire beard-o project could not be revealed. But now with the final stages complete I will release the complete unedited version which was intended for release in the first place. Enjoy the deleted scenes and the pilot beard-o.
The Human Beard-o Project Pilot and attempts.
Original comments, more new material at the bottom
This project has been running for 2 months. The experiment
proved succesful and useful to know one. In fact it was only learned
that it causes cancer in mice if you force them to eat all the
beard clippings in one day. This cancer giving effect can be canceled
when you also give mice a huge amount of orange juice in one day.
Which in that case it has been determined that the orange juice
causes the cancer. This is known because the mice get what is
called orangeian cancer. Where they begin growing orange hair
and claim that orange juice will solve numerous health problems.
The Beard-o project also proved that beards can't solve math problems,
raise IQs, cause murderous outrages, or destroy spoons. The beard-o
project did prove however that beards can be used to clean spills,
store food and liquids for later consumption, good substitute
for an S.O.S pad, tickle lips, scratch vag lips, carpet burn clitorious,
keep face warm while skiing, make appear older, appear wiser,
easier to get into bars, scare small children, impress other guys
that couldn't grow beards to save there lives. The beard-o project
was not interupted by use of such things as, a razor of any sort
after christmas break, beard trimmer, scissors, wax, velco removal
systems. When the beard project came to an end due to Laura coming
to visit it was removed by scissor cutting and finally shaving.
I cried as i lost my beard (not cause i loved it but it was bad
razor burn and i had shaving which i have to return to doing.)
I announce that the human beard-o project was a success and helped
to scare away any party pussy that was out on a cock hunt. The
only other issue witht he project was hippies suddenly thinking
i was there friend and understood them, they were very confused
by the fact that i didn't smell and i still showered but they
excepted me as one of there own and picked me flowers.
The Human Beard-o Project in full
effect.
After half of beard removal system
was used. Beard remove system was charged as i walked the hallways
to scare people and show friends. New style cause much arousal
in homo sexual men, namely myself.
Aww the fun is over
All that remains it the memories
and the tears. I miss you and always will. (I named it Gordo,
AKA Fluffy) I loved not having to shave for a full 2 months. Like
survivor i feel a Austrailan Sequel coming on. To find the effects
of a beard in another culture.
Just so you can see the size of
the puffy little sucker after i cut it all off.
add some glue and you have a fun
new toy. I placed this hairball in a pillow case of Punk rock
christian. Updates will be made someday when he finds it.
Well to help cover for the secret i said i put the beard under punk rocks pillow. Now i will reveal the true path of the precious beard.
Well after bagging the beard you must prepare for its trip.
Fill the bag, write a love note, and address and stamp an envelope.
Laura gets a nice love present sent to her. My beautiful beard is hers to chearish for ever. She in return sent me something even nicer.
-Dan Mayer, The human Beard
For the sake of America this project was completed.